When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I am available for nakedness
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
