We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
