yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
