She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
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