Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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