Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
