Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize