I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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