So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
