Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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(815): View more from Illinois

i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card

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(408): View more from California

We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

Too much penis in there.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.

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