Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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