so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
