My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
