i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
