u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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