haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
