I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
