I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
