Me. At least after what I've been through.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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