And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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