I just saw a hot homeless man
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I could fuck to npr.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
