Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
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