he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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