Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
