You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
