My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
