pedialite and red bull = repair kit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Im part way to drunk.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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