I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
