2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize