I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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