you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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