...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
