I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
