i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You're a waste of cheezeits
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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