found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
