I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
