I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
