haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
