i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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