No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
