i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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