Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
