Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
