thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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