Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
