he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
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So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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