I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
A+ Viking dick
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
