I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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