You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
