HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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