thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
