I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
