You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
