Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
