I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize