btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
this is an emotional support booty call
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