Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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