he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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