So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
