you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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