It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
