Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
