pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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