Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.