I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Everything about him screamed your future.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
