i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
whose ass print is on the piano?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
