i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail