but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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