It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
