So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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