I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
