Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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