im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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