I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
