You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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