Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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