You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
